Loneliness of a SeAMan

TAE LEN aka TAE BUI??

2012-01-20T01:36:00.002+08:00

went out with AL, SD, LY, and KY...

then saw A&W...

then went to parkson to buy my new clothes..

Mum had been nagging so long asking me to buy new clothes..

so we were walking around and i took two to try..

and when i put on the shirt.. can see 葡萄干..

damn.. that goes for both the shirts i tried on... damn.. haha..

had a great time with all of them..

oral exam during CNY

2012-01-14T08:44:00.002+08:00

supposedly my oral exam is on the 16th january, while i was trying to sleep just now, i kept thinking of what to study as the date is getting near and i really havent started studying, so i couldnt sleep and turn on laptop again,

then i checked on the website and surprisingly, my oral exam date have been changed to 26th january, i was kinda relieved, but 26th january is CNY period, partying mode, how to study o?

plus so many people coming back.. damn..

WHAT THE FACK...

2012-01-09T16:34:00.001+08:00

damn. oral exam coming real soon, but no mood to study, there's just too much to study, dont know where to start, dont know what to study..

really in the mood of doing some songs cover, but i aint got the nice voice like other people, .. damn. but maybe gonna give it a try ?

我是宅男

2011-12-26T18:38:00.002+08:00

back home for a few days now... but just staying at home everyday.. online.. fb.. and youtube allday long.. really becoming 宅男...

home

2011-12-23T15:11:00.002+08:00

finally home after one long night of waiting at OldTown White Coffee at KLIA..

finally home after a week of not enough sleep

finally home...

at ALAM, was dying to online..

back at home, online is so freakin boring..

finals coming.. but i'm on holiday and Chritsmas mood~~

2011-12-11T02:04:00.002+08:00

its study week starting today.. but i haven really started studying.. now all i think about is holiday and Christmas..

was thinking of going for Caroling this Christmas EVes.. planned to go some friend's houses or even to old folks home or orphanage home..

looking forward to meet up with friends this Christmas..

updates

2011-12-09T00:46:00.000+08:00

new

2011-11-11T06:44:00.001+08:00

emo

2011-10-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

And thats the worst part. Liking someone so much and knowing they'll never feel the same way about you

update photo

2011-10-21T22:52:00.002+08:00

sun-burnt and face-tanned

2011-09-30T21:36:00.003+08:00

was at malacca doing course on survival craft.. so two days at ship, under the hot sun, rowing the life boat, i didnt apply sunblock cause i wanna get tanned... this is the result of my tanning.. JUST FACE though.. lol.. all my friends saw me and said i am udang bakar..

then one morning at swimming pool today, good thing today's weather quite good.

FucK

2011-09-01T16:27:00.001+08:00

Fuck is the only word which can be used to express many feelings

Revenge: Fuck you

Failure: I'm fucked

Anxiety: What the fuck is happening

Anger: Get the fuck out of here

Curious: How the fuck did you do that

Love: She is fucking beautiful

Pride: I am a fucking genius

Victory: I won that fucking competition

Sad: Why the fuck does this happen to me

Confused: What the fuck

By this time you will be thinking this is one fucking cool post ^^

WEDDING DRESS

2011-08-28T12:03:00.003+08:00

a friend of mine was just modelling on the theme - wedding..

that friend of mine looked stunning.. totally pretty and beautiful

envy people in a relationship..

really made me sad as i dont have A SOMEONE

when i listened to 最重要的決定

by 范瑋琪

felt nice and also imagining having a special SOMEONE

one of the lines --就連吵架也很過癮不會冷冰

made me feel like having someone also for some minor quarrelling

(BUT FOR SURE I'LL LET THE GIRL WIN) XP

having someone around for me to pamper her..

having someone around for me to love her..

it really sucks when you feel this way for someone and they NEVER KNOW AND NEVER WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU

update for someone

2011-08-08T11:57:00.002+08:00

its been ages since i update, i actually did come back to my blog to see if anyone commented but i always didnt update cause nothing to update.. but now i'm gonna update as someone requested me to update more.. someone closed down someone's blog, i dont know why but i guessed someone has got someone's own reasons.. not gonna question that..

this fasting month, kinda had been sleeping most evenings after class and missed out my work outs.. usually our dinner time is 6.30pm to 7.40pm.. but now during fasting month, non-muslims have to eat from 6-7pm.. so i couldnt work out much.. missing my abs.. ARGH

planning to get a new phone.. a few classic NOKIAs came into my mind such as N-gage QD, 7610, and so on.. dont know which one to get.. or maybe Blackberry? dont know.. see how la..

til here then.. too long an article can be mark-reducing.. too long a blog can show how awesome i am? haha.. just kidding.. too long, afraid it'll be boring.. chao all..

WTF SO BORING

2011-07-14T21:52:00.002+08:00

its my freaking last night in sibu but there no one to find.. some of my friends not here at the moment.. some of my friends dont want to come out when i asked.. WTF man.. worst last day ever..

so boring desperado that i was about to go watch movie myself. but then its horror movie and its 11pm de.. after finish, i gotta drive myself back home.. f**k man.. FML

cafe square

2011-07-09T06:54:00.001+08:00

went cafe cafe with matthew.. the chocolate milkshake is simply awesome.

its not really same.. changed.. heard that vanilla and strawberry milkshakes are awesome too.. price kinda increased a little by about RM 0.50 , last time cincalok fried rice was RM9.50 buy now its Rm10. hahas..

Rosie Alice Huntington-Whiteley

2011-07-07T00:06:00.002+08:00

watched transformers 3.. nice.. Rosie Alice Huntington-Whiteley is so hot..

before watching transformers 3, i was like Megan Fox is so hot. the movie is not nice without her.. but after watching transformers 3, i was like man this movie is LEGEND wait-for-it

DARY..

Rosie Alice Huntington-Whiteley is seriously hot,. its living the dream if you're having a girl like her.. damn.. she looks like Cameron Diaz

human and human

2011-06-30T16:49:00.002+08:00

was reading my brother's blog, and there i can see his life during secondary school and all the scouting times.. love the way he describes things, like err.. one week is shorter than a fart and things like that..

really miss him a lot, while missing him, miss my other brothers,,.. all of us when we were at scouts, we always shout, WE ARE NOT AFRAID, WE WILL NOT LOSE, BECAUSE WE'RE BIG..

really hope we can go back to the old times when we go for gymnastic fruit ice, and movies, bowling and stuffs like that.. well, now all thats left is just memories..

once a scout, always a scout huh?

to me ONCE A BRO, ALWAYS A BRO..

come to think of it, many things happened, kinda grateful i moved to sibu like 4 or 5 years ago, here at sibu i met my brothers and also met so many awesome girls.. lol

new email add

2011-06-29T17:31:00.000+08:00

add my new email address

benjo_sailor@hotmail.my

death of sarutobi asuma

2011-06-29T00:46:00.002+08:00

watching naruto, watched till the part where asuma dies after fighting hidan, kinda sad that he is dead even though he is my favourite character, but after watching this few episodes, kinda like Team 10

POC 4

2011-06-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

damn i wanna watch Pirates of Carribean 4, but its not showing in cinema anymore

super 8

2011-06-25T16:18:00.003+08:00

i'll recommend this movie, the young actors and the actress are super talented..

back home

2011-06-25T16:10:00.002+08:00

finally after one week of suffering at ALAM, i'm back home now..

for the whole one week last week it was my final exam week..

everynight i'll stay up and study, then after exam and after lunch, i'll sleep till night 10pm or maybe 1am, then i'll wake up and study and no sleep till morning..

did that for 1 week.. damn

came home yesterday. but before that was at KL, went to midvalley with my ALAM friends.. damn, my friends sure got hot sisters, nice..

watched SUPER 8 yesterday, quite nice, the young actors and actress sure are talented.

my flight was 7.30pm, but i left midvalley at 4 something pm, i've gotta take KTM to KL sentral and then LRT to Pasar seni to take my luggages and then go back to KL sentral to take bus to KLIA..

but then i didnt get on the KTM because it was so full and the next one was 5.10pm, so then i took a bus directly to Pasar Seni, took my luggages and went to KL sentral by LRT. then from there went to KLIA by a bus, the bus left at 5.30pm, reached KLIA at about 6 something pm, rushed to check it.,,

good thing i made it, or else i might miss my flight and wont be home now.. haha

all in all a good trip though, now i know more about the KTM, LRT and stuffs..

planking

2011-06-25T16:02:00.003+08:00

this is something called planking.. its just a person lying on the floor and doing nothing.. i did it at my campus's library when there's no one around with my friend.. i still dont have the guts to do with with people around yet.. haha..

i didnt post it to facebook yet cause maybe many people dont know bout it yet..

lets make planking a thing and LETS PLANK

latest abs photos of me..

2011-06-25T15:58:00.001+08:00

time to move on?

2011-05-07T22:12:00.003+08:00

its been ages since i update.

it looks like you're doing great.. maybe there are times when you are sad and all but, you have people around you that can share with you and will cheer you up, how i wish i can be there for you whenever you needed someone there.

but i guess maybe things are going just the way they are now, i mean that you're living your life great, and i guess i should move on with my life too.. cause i'm like so totally LOL (lack of love). damn i see my friends texting with chicks and i've got no one to text with.. i am totally missing out on the awesomeness of being in love. FML

i did make a promise and i guess i might break your heart and break that promise, sorry.

i am seriously a jerk, damn how i wish i can redo so many things in my life now, the first one, i'll undo coming to ALAM, that way, i might stand a chance with you.. but now i'm stuck in

nature (ALAM).

i dont know, maybe i still have you in my heart, but i gotta move on too,

I CANT JUST WAIT HERE LIKING YOU AND DOING NOTHING AND KNOWING WE'LL NEVER GONNA BE TOGETHER.. how i wish you'd know how i felt towards you

did think of confessing my feelings to you on april's fool

2011-04-03T13:02:00.002+08:00

somewhere end of march i was thinking of actually confessing to you on aprils' fools. but i didnt.

i think maybe now is not the time you wanna talk about THIS. thats why i didnt do it.

maybe you wanna concentrate on your studies, and maybe there's someone else you like,

but maybe now i'll just keep it this way, BEING FRIENDS. (cause i think this is what you'll want)

however, i'll be here in case you need someone. TEEHEE

some photos

2011-04-03T04:16:00.002+08:00

going back to nature (ALAM)

2011-03-26T00:03:00.003+08:00

in a blink of an eye, my one week holiday ends, damn fast man.. i dont remember doing anything meaningful,

all i did was stayed home watching anime, onlined, facebooked and slept..

however at least i watched a movie with andy and shau der, we watched

BATTLE LOS ANGELES

so totally awesome.,

gonna go KL on 26 march, then on 27 march, will go malacca..

i told yi i'll go malacca and she said she wants 鸡饭粒.. dont know what is that but i'll find out

Battle Los Angeles

2011-03-25T23:59:00.001+08:00

nice movie.. just watched just now.. so awesome, total action.. recommended to watch..

Cinta seorang Pelaut

2011-03-23T18:27:00.000+08:00

Apabila seorang pelaut jatuh cinta,
Maknanya pasangan pelaut itu mesti seorang yang luar biasa.
Apabila seorang pelaut itu memilih pasangan,
Maknanya pasangan pelaut itu seorang yang tabah dan setia,
Apabila seorang pelaut itu ingin berkahwin,
Maknanya pasangan pelaut itu tahu apa yang bakal dihadapinya.
Ini kerana,
Apabila pelaut itu sudah belayar,
Pasangannya akan di tinggalkan di daratan.
Menjalani kehidupan tanpa suami atau isteri.
Membesarkan anak seorang diri.
Memikul tanggungjawab seorang diri.

Oleh itu,
jika pasangan anda seorang pelaut,
Dirinya mngambil keputusan untuk berpisah dengan anda,
Itu tandanya,
Dia menyayangi diri anda lebih dari pengetahuan anda.
Dia tidak mahu anda bersedih menunggu kepulangannya.
Dia tidak mahu anda menjalani kehidupan tanpanya.
Dia tidak mahu anda membesarkan anak seorang diri.
Dia tidak mahu anda menyelesaikan masalah tanpa dirinya.

Jika anda sanggup menjadi pasangan pelaut,
Maknanya,cinta anda begitu tinggi nilainya.

rest of my life

2011-03-23T02:49:00.000+08:00

Everyday I Wake Up Next To An Angel
More Beautiful Than Words Could Say
They Said It Would'nt Work But What Did They Know?
Cause Years Passed And We're Still Here Today
Never In My Dreams Did I Think That This Would Happen To Me

Seems Like Yesterday When She First Said Hello
Funny How Time Flies By When You're In Love
It Took Us A Lifetime To Find Each Other
It Was Worth The Wait Cause I Finally Found The One
Never In My Dreams Did I Think That This Would Happen To Me

As I Stand Here Before My Woman
I Cant Fight Back The Tears In My Eyes
Oh How Could I Be So Lucky
I Must've Done Something Right
And I Promise To Love Her For The Rest Of My Life

my kind of perfect

2011-03-22T22:00:00.001+08:00

I was thinking about you
I drew a little picture
But some things you can't put on paper
Like you like shooting stars
Write songs on guitar
Got more things to do than stare at a mirror
And I know, I know she's gotta be out there, out there
I know, I know, she's gotta be
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right
Maybe I just let you walk by
What can I say?
Baby I know you are alive
Is she the one, is it today?
Will I turn the corner see my future in her beautiful face?
Maybe
She's anything but typical,
A sweet surprise
No matter what she's looking at the bright side
It's gonna be worth it,
'Cause that's what love is
I'll keep searching for my kind of perfect
Will I turn the corner, see my future in her beautiful face?
They say give it time
Give it time and it will fall in life
But I keep wondering how and when
And why I haven't met you
But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right
Ooh oh oh
Oh, maybe, yeah
La la la la da la, whoa oh
I'll keep searching for MY KIND OF PERFECT

things to do~

2011-03-22T17:29:00.001+08:00

so many things to do--
1) boring
2) boring
3) still boring

next year

2011-03-21T18:21:00.002+08:00

come to think of it, i'll gonna start sailing real soon, i guess it would be next year..

so most probably there are many people and friends i dont get to see so often anymore or even dont see again..

i am really glad to move here to sarawak from kedah before..

well many things happened since then,

if i dont move to sarawak, i wont meet all my friends here in SARAWAK..

if i dont move to sarawak, i wont have the oppurtunity to sing in public..

if i dont move to sarawak, i wont be in this career as a sailor (maybe)..

but I'VE MOVED HERE AND ALL OF THESE HAPPEN, THEY ARE REAL..

there's nothing i could do about it but to accept them..

too bad time runs by itself

2011-03-21T17:56:00.002+08:00

how i wish i could control the time

if i could REWIND time, i'll start all over,

i'll study hard so i dont have to be a sailor now.

i'll be loyal to my girl so i still have a girl now..

if i could FORWARD time, i'll make things right,

i'll reach the suitable age for a girl or even a wife as many girls dont wanna be in a relationship during studying period..

i'll not have to be in this situation of wanting a girl so badly and be so lack of love..

sorry

2011-03-21T17:50:00.001+08:00

sorry for all those i've done..

sorry for the hurts and the pains i've cause to all.

sorry those i've hurt in the past

sorry those i've hurt now

and sorry to those i may hurt in the future.

i know its too late that things happened, but i AM SORRY

Tokine Yukimura from keikkaishi

2011-03-21T01:45:00.004+08:00

i think she is so far the prettiest anime character i've seen, really love her, she's gorgeous, she's pretty and cute

what am i good at?

2011-03-20T19:47:00.002+08:00

different people got different things they are good at,

some are good at singing,

some are good at dancing,

some are good at playing instruments

some are good at drawing,

some are good at studying.

some are good at sports, and all sorts of things they are good at

i've live 20 years now but i still dont know what am i good at..

great sermon

2011-03-20T14:14:00.002+08:00

went to church, some group of people called the REVO team came to our church and they led praise and worship.. i saw the chinese youth from my church all really enjoy the presence of the lord. made me feel like i fucked up my life after sailing, i really got far away from GOD. gg..

after that their pastor delivered a message. the sermon was great, i was like wow..

great pastor, great worship, great sermon, great man of God

met up with shau der my bro

2011-03-19T17:49:00.002+08:00

went out with shau der yesterday night, we went to muhibah, ordered chicken ass, pandan chicken, and also satay.. then ordered fruit ice too..

hanged out and talked.. kinda lonely as its only the two of us.. he's gonna leave somewhere in april.. haha.

we still talked about my dream of getting a japanese wife.. he said push on, dont give up, then he said when we've earned enough money, we'll go japan for vacation.. you hear that Allen? better save up now.. haha

my air ticket,

2011-03-19T14:54:00.002+08:00

mr BRNJAMIN

lol

someone will like me someday

2011-03-07T20:58:00.001+08:00

was listening to 失落沙洲 while looking at my photos..

realised that i'm actually quite good-looking and funny..

realised that i'm actually not bad..

even though nobody like me now,

SOMEDAY, SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, SOMEONE WILL LIKE ME..

CRAVING FOR LOVE

2011-02-26T05:11:00.003+08:00

watched this thailand movie called Hormones.. a very nice movie, made me fall in love with thailand girls as some of them are really pretty...

but i like one of the girls in the movie where she's a gf to this guy and this girl is cute and can talk a lot to the bf..

i like her because she can talk a lot and i hope my future gf can also be someone who can talk a lot and i'll love to hear her talk..

some girls i know dont talk much and i'll have to be the one talking, i dont really like it because i might annoy the girl by talking too friggin much..

envy those guys studying in normal college as they can love as they want whenever they meet some nice girls.. for me, i'm stuck here in nature (ALAM) and seeing all those same faces (guys) everyday..

damn i'm making so much sacrifice being a sailor.. craving for love

latest photos on abs

2011-02-26T05:08:00.003+08:00

starting all over

2011-02-16T02:17:00.002+08:00

deleted all my posts and now starting new posts.

always thought my blog was boring, but sometimes when i read them, they're actually interesting..

and of course, i feel very nice knowing that lots of people are reading my blog..

i noticed that my family members read too, and here i would like to thank those who leave comment and encourage me like my uncle john especially..

its a priviledge to know that someone important and busy like him is reading my blog.